A SCRAPBOOK OF SORTS

Hedgehog Outfit

2012-02-11T19:25:00.000-05:00

For Claire's first birthday!

Which of these kids is doing her own thing?

2012-02-07T22:31:00.001-05:00

A few months ago, we bought a groupon for a painting class. It was EXTREMELY hard to use. It was only good for certain classes, and the pretty pictures we could use it for continued to fill up before we ever had a chance to register. So all the cute owl painting classes? Taken. The wine bottles? Taken. The cool trees? Taken. We finally used the groupon on the very last night that we could. It was a beach scene. Not awful, but certainly not what we imagined when we made the original purchase.

So Jennifer and I painted the beach scene with some added "sparkle" she pulled out of her purse about fifteen minutes into class. Fun stuff. Tracy, on the other hand, was determined to paint an owl for her daughter's dorm room. It was completely awesome. I am reminded once again why she is such a good influence for me. Her confidence is unbelievable. We all painted as we were told (sort of. We are all rule breakers in our little ways), and she just did her own thing...at her own pace with her own colors. Her twelve dollars was not wasted one single bit! I love that about her!

Because He Loves Us.

2012-02-07T08:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, John brought home flowers for me. He never does that...not because he doesn't want to, but because he's cheap. I am okay with that...I am cheap, too. I'd rather have something I can plant in my yard than something on my counter that will fade in a few days. But yesterday's flowers were different. I needed them. They were a reminder that no matter what, every thing's going to be okay. God's got this. And He does.

John currently cannot hear well out of his right ear. It's been that way for a few weeks. We were hoping it was the result of some fluid in his ear or an infection or something that would take a few days on medicine to clear up. It isn't. He saw the doctor yesterday and will see a specialist next week. We have no idea why he cannot hear out of that ear, and to be honest, it scares me silly. His ear looks perfectly healthy. One thing is for sure--I am not going to google it again. I am going to wait until next week before I even consider the worst-case-scenarios.

As I was talking to Maggie about it this morning, I gently reminded her that God is a big user of minor details. Isn't that nearly always the case? Sure, when we get to the end of a particular season or struggle, the lesson is looming large right in front of us. But the learning, the changing of our hearts, happens all along the way--it's in the minor details. For me, it's in the phone call that came in while I was watching my baby girl's dance class practice their recital song--"Daddy's Little Girl." It's the texts and the phone calls to see if we are okay. It's the flowers and the whispered details passed between John and I as we tried to divulge information with listening ears all around us. It is the women who gathered around me and insisted on talking about love when I absolutely had no desire to even check those areas of my heart last night. It's the sweet prayers of a dear friend to finish out the night.

John's hearing loss? It is because He loves us. That's a hard pill to swallow and may be even harder to swallow if it turns out to be more serious. But it remains the same. It is because He loves us. I am not sure what the big picture lesson will be in all this, but I am positive that God is showing this little heart of mine what His love looks like all along the way in the littlest of details.

Life Lesson #8,264

2012-02-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

The text came while I was in Target with my girls, trying on shoes. If you haven't had the joy of trying on shoes with girls who love shoes, you should borrow my daughters for awhile. It is fun, and one of my favorite things to do. They both LOVE shoes. I glance at the text, and it is from my Dad. I wait until we check out to read it. CALL NOW. I call immediately.

My cousin's husband has a brain aneurysm. Kevin is at Duke, near where they live, and is sedated but alive. They will operate, if they can, in the morning. I fight tears as I talk my dad through what he should do. I fight tears as I think of my cousin's family--her beautiful girls, my aunt and uncle, all this family that I haven't seen in entirely too long. I fight tears as I explain it to my own girls. We talk openly, honestly; they have a lot of questions. I answer what I can, the best I can. My girls also have tears.

We walk through the grocery store, and Ellie says, "Mommy. I sure am glad it wasn't my Daddy." It breaks my heart, but instantly, I am thankful. I stop the cart and get eye-level with her. I say, "I sure am glad, too, because I don't know what I would do without Daddy. But I do know one thing. Even if it were your Daddy, we would be okay. And your cousins are going to be okay. God is still good and He is still in control. No matter what."

And that's the truth. You can orchestrate fine lessons on what the Bible says about the sovereignty of God, but it's in the moments where that faith is put on the line where the best lessons are taught. I'm so glad I didn't miss that moment tonight.

2012-01-27T21:09:00.001-05:00

technique class

2012-01-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

Mags moved up a company level in dance this year, and now she takes a technique class. Tonight was Parent Watch Night--so of course I snapped a few pictures. I love her so.

Dinner and Dancing

2012-01-23T17:31:00.004-05:00

We ate dinner with Cinderella on Thursday night. The food was fabulous, and we had a splendid time! Cinderella's stepsister, Drizella, was smitten with Bentley, and we had a good time laughing over their antics.

Oh, and this moment? This made it all worth it!

After dinner, we went out to the lobby and listened to a band play live music. There was much dancing by all parties. It was so much fun!

Maggie and Caleb showed off their mad swing dancing skills. Mags has had plenty of practice with her Daddy!

We stayed way later than we originally thought, but it was worth it! On our way out, we stopped for pictures by the carriage.

And with the animals...

2012-01-23T11:27:00.002-05:00

We spent one day at Animal Kingdom. Here are the kiddos with Flick:

This is while we were waiting on a bird show. They had a man with an owl and a lot of bird trivia. It is never a good idea to put five homeschooled children at the front answering questions. They are some smart cookies!

Playing the African drums:

A giraffe or two:

White Rhino:

Lioness:

Meeting Minnie:

The tree of life:

Ellie in Dinoland:

Another day, another park...

2012-01-22T22:09:00.000-05:00

An Amazing Gift

2012-01-22T19:05:00.001-05:00

A few months ago, our friends asked us if we would like to go to Disney World with them. Umm, really? We have never, ever contemplated Disney before. It has always seemed way beyond our budget. But a week in our own condo for free was an unbelievable deal; a deal that made the whole idea seem plausible. So we researched and found an awesome deal on tickets, and thanks to Nana and Papaw, we were able to make it happen. It was absolutely the very best time to go. The parks were not crowded, the weather was GORGEOUS, and the memories--definitely enough to last a lifetime. I am sure I will blog more about it all, but here is a day one photo dump. I am willing to bet I had the most excited children in the park.

Dear John,

2011-12-30T23:35:00.001-05:00

When we've been married sixty years, I hope our family will gather around us. I hope there will be laughter and stories and cakes and great-grand babies to pass away the time. I hope we will have endured well and left behind a legacy worth repeating. I hope we are as happy as your grandparents were tonight.

I love you. I really, really do.

Amy

Christmas 2011

2011-12-26T21:55:00.000-05:00

Christmas Eve we visited with some of our very best friends and traded gifts:

Ellie and Emma checking out the San Fransisco ornament

bffs

We came home and had our traditional Santa pancakes for dinner:

Claire came by to visit. We loved having company!

We decorated cookies!

We celebrated Advent as a family. My kiddos cannot wait to light the Christ candle. It is a HUGE deal in our house, and always quite an event. Mags and Bent read the verses from the Bible, and we prayed and sang together. I will miss our nightly Advent time.

We put on our jammies!

Christmas morning, we woke up and saw what Santa had left. Ellie: dolls and legos; Bent: a toolbox, Battleship, and legos; Maggie: sewing stuff, Just Dance 3, and legos. See the common thread? Legos. My kiddos love legos.

We got dressed and headed to church with some of our dearest friends. It made for a fabulous Christmas morning.

Today, we went to Augusta and visited with our cousins! I made a Padme picnic gown for my niece (think Star Wars if you are unfamiliar). It was by far the best gift I gave this season. She was soooooooo excited!

Ellie and Tori

Tucker and Mags

Libby

Ellie and TJ

Bent and Allie

Tori and Mags

Oh, and there was a lot of dancing. Lots and lots of dancing.

2011-12-24T01:46:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas from us!

Booth Western Art Museum

2011-12-20T16:18:00.000-05:00

We took a field trip to the Booth Western Art Museum today. It is not too far from us, and children under 12 are free. It was so worth it! My kiddos have studied Native Americans, we've studied the Civil War, and we've studied westward expansion. They thoroughly enjoyed the art. They also really enjoyed the hall of Presidents. The basement has a children's play area, and we finished off our trip down there.

Maybe Christmas means more.

2011-12-19T01:03:00.000-05:00

Maybe it means gathering for an afternoon of girl time. Maybe it means snacks and silliness. Maybe it means laughter, lots of laughter.

It most certainly means giving to something much bigger than yourself. For a few months, I have prayed daily for these girls. For their hearts. For their lives to reflect His. For our few minutes on Sunday mornings to be worth it...to be valuable. For life on life to make a noticeable difference. It does.

We met this afternoon and sewed pillowcases for the local children's hospital. We prayed for the children last week, and today, we did something to help them, to reach out, to use our resources for something other than ourselves.

I am so grateful to get the opportunity to invest in these lives. I am confident God is going to do BIG things through them.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

2011-12-10T23:09:00.001-05:00

Three evidences from this week:

1. We gathered with John's extended family today to celebrate the season. I absolutely LOVE these family members, so it was worth the drive to the complete other side of the city to eat lunch with them. It was sad without Mamaw, but so neat that we could all still hang out and enjoy one another.

2. John's dad is having surgery on Tuesday and is looking at a long recovery period, so we are celebrating Christmas with the grandparents tomorrow afternoon. This is what I am bringing:

John ate a ton load of the caramel icing tonight. I am not sure his narcoleptic self will be able to go to bed. It will be a first. This was Mamaw's secret recipe that she shared with me. Have I told you how much I loved her? I believe I have. :)

And this one is for you, Leanne.

3. We played Christmas light poker for the first time this season. We put the kiddos in jammies, filled their cups with hot chocolate, reminded them of the rules and point values, and set out to look at lights. Mags and Bent played it smart and sat on the same side of the van so they could be on the same team. Seeing as how they had FIVE nativities with a baby Jesus on their side of the road, they beat Ellie and me pretty badly. I think the final score was 390 to 638 or something. I am going to need to find a house lit with all blue lights for them for the next time we play. I never even had a chance. But, their math skills were sharpened and we enjoyed each other, so it was worth it.

This is for you, my friend. :)

2011-12-09T00:13:00.001-05:00

My growing up too fast Boo girl:

And this is also for you: I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. You make me laugh and realize that we absolutely are not meant to do this thing called life alone. The most beautiful things in this world often grow from broken places. Really and truly.

The Kindness of God

2011-12-06T07:20:00.001-05:00

I think we all would agree that God is kind. I think we all can look back in our lives and see some point where God's loving-kindness was obviously there--when everything fell into place, when we felt His presence, when we knew His love for us was great. There is no question that God is kind.

But what about when it looks different? What about when it doesn't work out the way that it seems it should? When a friend doesn't forgive, despite our best efforts? When a marriage dissolves after years and years and years of godly counsel? What about when we feel regret instead of joy? When we lose babies, when people die, when life does not even begin to seem fair or good? Is God still kind?

Of course He is. A. W. Tozer says it for me in this:

Divine goodness, as one of God's attributes, is self-caused, infinite, perfect, and eternal. Because God is immutable He never varies in the intensity of His loving-kindness. He has never been kinder than He now is, nor will He ever be less kind. He is no respecter of persons but makes His sun to shine on the evil as well as on the good, and sends His rain on the just and on the unjust. The cause of His goodness is in Himself; the recipients of His goodness are all His beneficiaries without merit and without recompense.

A sure sign of spiritual maturity would be the ability to recognize and praise God for his loving-kindness even in our darkest hours. Because He never ceases to be good or kind. Ever.

It's my turn now...

2011-12-03T22:19:00.001-05:00

Emma, Ryann, and Ellie

Their big sisters have had a Christmas Party for the last, let's say, six years. This year, the tradition was handed down to the little ones. Love, love, love this photo. They painted ornaments, made reindeer food, made and wrapped gifts for both mom and dad, ate pizza, and watched a Christmas movie. What a wonderful start to the season for my Ellie Boo.

Priceless.

2011-11-30T23:21:00.001-05:00

During our family Advent prayers tonight...

Maggie, whispering: Dear God,
Ellie, aloud: Dear God,
Maggie, whispering: Thank you for creating us in love.
Ellie, aloud: Thank you for creating us in love.
Maggie, whispering: Please help me to love others.
Ellie, aloud: Please help me to love others.

This is exactly why it was so important for me to have two girls, so that they could be sisters. I didn't have a sister, and I wanted this so much for my girls. I am confident that they will value and treasure each other in the years to come. I love them so, so much.

Hanging of the Greens

2011-11-27T23:07:00.001-05:00

One of the things I miss most about attending a church that has its own building is the hanging of the greens. I just love the Advent season and all that comes with it. To compensate my need for what some consider a silly tradition, we had our household "hanging of the greens" this past weekend. So much fun.

Our tree:

Our front stairs:

24 Christmas stories ready to unwrap and read daily:

Linus made his yearly appearance:

Nativity and Jesse tree branches:

Our Christmas cards:

Thankful for a place to call home.

2011-11-26T01:18:00.001-05:00

I love where I live now. I have been in big city suburbs for a long time now. I have learned how to listen to the traffic report, where all the main roads will take me, and just about how long it will take me to navigate myself to another part of the city. We have enjoyed the parks and playgrounds, the rivers and mountains nearby, the hikes and trails, and the museums and culture. This place has definitely become "home" for me. It is where I have birthed my kiddos, where we have been busy raising them. We are invested here. It is everything familiar.

But I do miss my old home--the place where I have spent many, many more seasons of my life. The place I was born. The place where I knew everyone, and everyone knew me. I could drive to a friend's house in another state in less than twenty minutes. The place where I can point out to my own children all the places I knew and loved. I don't get to go back enough--and when we do go as a family--it is always rushed. It seems as if we are always trying to fit as much as we possibly can into an itty bitty amount of time. And there is never enough time.

This Thanksgiving, I decided not to try. To just get in the car and go. To sit and enjoy my extended family. To let my kiddos play in the beautiful weather. To just be. I am thankful. I got to enjoy this:

Swinging in the sunshine at the park down the street

Walks with my kiddos

Posing with my girls

Cousin Love

More cousin love

Kid tables

Kiddos at the big people tables

my now 8 year old

Sometimes it is downright healing to go back. It isn't the same, but it is part of who I am, and I am learning more and more to appreciate just that--who I am. So while I love this life I have in the here and now, I am so very thankful to have a place to call home, and even more grateful to get to share it with my kiddos.

Thankful that I get to be their mommy.

2011-11-26T00:22:00.001-05:00

I always knew I would have a large family with a lot of children. I don't. I have these three beautiful kiddos. Not quite Plan A, maybe not even Plan B, but most certainly a perfect plan. They are truly extraordinary. They are not perfect. They argue, they make messes, and they forget to use their manners. It's okay; I am not perfect either. I get frustrated, get irritated, and forget to ask forgiveness. It is a balance we are navigating together, and I am so glad this particular journey is mine.

So very thankful I get to be their mommy.

(The pictures are from our Christmas card photo shoot--we chose a silly one for the card--so you will have to wait to see that one!)

2011-11-23T00:00:00.000-05:00

When you are eight, you are so tall! and so big! and you look like you are ten. Often, people assume you and Maggie are closer in age than you are. Your foot is bigger than hers, and you basically wear the same size clothing. I have to double check jeans at laundry time, and I have been known to put them in the wrong baskets. Oops.

When you are eight, you still love to play outside. This is such a treasure for us. There are days when you can disappear into the backyard for hours. When I call you in, there are holes in your knees and dirt under your fingernails. You are very creative and imaginative. I love this about you.

You LOVE to read, and I *think* you tend to read like I did as a child. If a book is particularly interesting to you, you will finish it rather quickly. It is not odd to find you snuggled in the corner of the couch with your nose in a book. You love to draw, and you are very, very good at math. You are also great at spelling. I enjoy watching you learn every day.

When you are eight, you eat and eat and eat. You were once my pickiest eater, and I am amazed at how much you have grown in this area. You eat anything I put in front of you. The only things you really do not like are tomatoes, onions, olives, strawberries, and mushrooms. I can live with that. Your favorite meal is Daddy's corn chowder, and I will make it for you this week. You eat it with hot sauce, just like your Daddy.

You best friends are Cole, Zachary, Thelonious, Davis, and Caleb. Oh, and Ava. She is definitely your best friend that is a girl. You tend to play highly imaginative games that involve a lot of running, jumping, and loud voices. You enjoy Legos and board games, and you LOVE Mad Libs. Oh, and you are very into your hex bugs. You still have one volume: loud. When I want you to use an inside voice, I ask you to whisper. Seriously.

When you are eight, you are still my tender heart. You LOVE babies and are quick to take care of others. Ellie was sick last week, and I was amazed that each and every time she threw up in the wee hours, she managed to hit her "throw up" bowl...that is until the next morning, when I realized you stayed up all night right next to her, putting the bowl in front of her every.time.she.even.coughed. I hope Maggie and Ellie grow up knowing how much you love them, and I hope and pray you have a family one day to invest in as you invest in ours. You love deeply and care strongly; these things are makings of a true servant leader. I am confident you will make a positive contribution to this world.

When you are eight, your smile still reveals that adorable dimple. You have freckles that we love to count in church. Your laughter is contagious. Your personality overflows, and I just can't imagine a single day without you. Happy birthday, Bentley. I am so glad you are mine for this season!!

Thankful for my crappy friends.

2011-11-18T23:46:00.001-05:00

Seems ironic, no? When I found myself at the bottom a few years ago, I lost most of my friends. Seriously. Who wants to hang around with someone barely hanging on to life? Someone who can't muster up enough to return phone calls or actually invest in others. Someone who has absolutely nothing to give. No one, but those who are legally obligated to hang around.

Except a few. A handful, and I did my best to lose them as well. They wouldn't let me go. They wouldn't let me shake them off. I would call to cancel on them with some lame excuse, and they would say no. They would find babysitters for my children, an empty house for us to hang out, a bottle of wine for us to share. It was in those moments, we grew together. We cried. We got mad at ourselves, our sin, each other. I learned to heal. Over time it became less about me and my issues, and more about each individual and her individual issues. I found the space to give back to life, to give to something other than my own family. We dared to dip our toes into the deep end of the pool, and what we found there, we grabbed tightly and embraced fully. We called our sometimes monthly, sometimes weekly, times together "Crap Night." We hashed out our so-called crap with each other. These ladies became my crappy friends. I love them ever so much.

A few weeks ago, when we lost our Mamaw, it was these very friends who called to check in on me, who tried to rearrange their schedules so that I wouldn't have to do both the visitation and the funeral by myself with the kiddos (John was a pall bearer and couldn't sit with us). They texted and called and emailed and prayed. They couldn't be with me physically, but they were with me. They brought me a plant to put in my yard in memory of Mamaw, and not just any plant, but my absolute FAVORITE plant at the park where I walk and run. The place where I hashed out so much doing laps with the comfort of a crappy friend or two. The place where I fought and continue to fight my so-called demons wholeheartedly.

And tonight, as my text alert went off a few hours ago, and I truth-texted a crappy friend in the midst of hurt, sadness, and anger--I remembered just how blessed we are to have each other. Some women spend an entire lifetime trying to find just one friend to relate to on this level, and there are five of us that are completely devoted to spurring one another on in both truth and love. I can trust them with ANYTHING. It isn't perfect, but we are honest with each other and try to keep short accounts. And I am ever so thankful for them. We meet once a week now and take turns deciding what we do each week. It is the highlight of my week--crap night with my crappy friends!

Our Thankful Tree.

2011-11-14T18:15:00.001-05:00

Thankful that it really does take a village sometimes.

2011-11-14T14:25:00.001-05:00

It is no secret that my Mags LOVES to run. This past Saturday, she ran a 5k. John's team was hosting it, so despite his desire to run the race, he helped out instead. Maggie was completely prepared to run solo. I could have run it with her, but I am much slower than she is, and she wanted to beat her record. I didn't want to hold her back. We knew A LOT of other runners, but none who were prepared to run slower for her. She was completely fine running it by herself.

But, she didn't have to do it alone. Our friend stepped in and ran with her, coaching her EVERY step of the way. I am not sure what did more for her--beating her previous record or the time Jennifer invested in her as she ran. Maggie was on cloud nine for the rest of the day. I adore these two and am so grateful for Jennifer's influence in Maggie's life as well.

11/11/11 @ 11:11 am

2011-11-11T12:19:00.001-05:00

We were listening to Sara Groves sing "It Might Be Hope" loudly in the kitchen. Ellie was sitting on the counter cracking eggs for pumpkin chip muffins. Bentley was snapping the green beans for dinner, and I was washing dishes. Mags was doing her math. Bent and I were discussing heaven and hell and the variants among different beliefs. Sweet times that I hope they always remember fondly.

Photo Challenge Day 23

2011-11-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

Day 23 - A picture of a favorite trip you've taken (or two)

This picture was taken in late July 2000. John and I returned to Thailand with our church on a mission trip, and it was incredible. We spent ten days or so in the northern cities and villages and then a few days in Bangkok. We were still basically newlyweds--only married a year--and had no idea that we would be welcoming our Maggie Brett just one year later. This was our last "big" trip pre-children, and while we have traveled a little with children and since children, it just isn't the same for me when I have to think for so many others! Chang Rai will always be a favorite for me.

This picture is from two years ago. There was so much going on in my life, in our lives, and John and I stowed away to Charleston for a weekend of rest. This weekend meant so much to me--we left Atlanta in the middle of a snowstorm and drove INCREDIBLY slowly. There was a lot of much-needed, good conversation in those hours. John took great care of me that weekend, and I desperately needed it. Also, first time ever, I saw a real snowman at the beach!

Forgot one.

2011-11-10T20:47:00.001-05:00

I just can't leave this one out. So much personality down deep. I love her so.

Thankful for Pinterest.

2011-11-10T20:29:00.001-05:00

Seriously. Let's see. So far I have made several cookies, a few soups, and a handful of craft projects. I saw a tutorial for turning a pillowcase into a nightgown, and of course, I had to try it. It worked like a charm...so cute!

Photo Challenge Day 22

2011-11-08T14:48:00.001-05:00

Day 22- A Picture of Someone You Respect

So this one has taken me quite some time...oops. I respect A LOT of people that I know personally, but if I had to pick someone I didn't actually know, the numbers are very limited. I picked from that small pool of people. I have utmost respect for this man: Steve Brown.

I was first introduced to Steve Brown during our days at Perimeter Church. I still drive over there to hear him when he is preaching. His voice is distinctive, and he speaks truth from his heart. One of my favorite books ever is Scandalous Freedom, and it is often that I quote his words. I enjoy that he isn't really concerned about what people think, but not in the usual prideful way. It is a humble, "I've been broken" way.

Oh, and if you aren't familiar with him, you can find him over at Key Life Network. Good stuff.

Thankful for the power of laughter.

2011-11-08T12:27:00.001-05:00

The small, uncontrollable giggle from Ellie that affects us all.
The not-so-funny jokes made up by a certain seven-year-old boy who happens to think the jokes are hysterical.
The witty comments that distinguish Maggie as an official tween.
The dinner-time banter, the playroom background noise, the evidence that certain kiddos are definitely not quite asleep yet.

Very, very thankful for laughter.

Thankful for His mark.

2011-11-07T23:48:00.002-05:00

He named his people Israel. It means to wrestle with God. His people, His nation, His covenant with Abraham. He gave them a distinguishing label--Israel--people who wrestle with God. And wrestle they did! Time and time again, story after story, page after page. God used it for His glory, and He kept His promises. Not on their timing, but certainly within God's good and loving plan.

Why do we think we are any different? Why is it that we are so scared to struggle within the confines of this world? Why is it we must instantly go into "fix" mode? Why can't we appreciate the fact that sometimes the struggle is where the glory lies? Why must we pretend we have it all together? Why is it that we look at a Christian who is struggling intensely and we instantly judge the situation, the sin, the response? Why do we work so hard to cover up our wrestlings with God?

I am so thankful this season to be His and to be one who carries the mark of His people--one who struggles. I am so very grateful to have people who aren't afraid to walk authentically with me and so very grateful for a core group of friends who see the value in hashing out the hardest, messiest areas of life.

Thankful for dry things.

2011-11-02T07:46:00.000-04:00

This morning, I opened up my facebook account and saw pictures my Thai friends have posted of Bangkok. It is flooding, and has been for days. It has barely had any news coverage on our side of the world, but the conditions are pretty rough in some areas. I spent some time this morning praying for our friends by name and thanking God for the plenty we have. So grateful for a dry house, dry clothes, dry pantry, etc...

Thankful for Children who LOVE the Outdoors.

2011-11-01T23:10:00.002-04:00

I am so thankful for kiddos who LOVE to be outside. For the last few weeks, they have been begging for a pile of leaves. FINALLY, after two of the craziest weeks known to man, Daddy was home and helped them make their pile. Cost? Absolutely nothing. Worth? Millions. I love them so.

This one is blurry, but I just love the lighting and the height.

The Best Part about Halloween?

2011-10-31T23:21:00.002-04:00

The relationships. Life is about connecting.

Freeze this moment in time, please.

2011-10-31T23:05:00.000-04:00

When he grows up and thinks back to his childhood, this is what I want Bent to remember. I want these moments to define the type of dad he becomes. He has such a great example to follow. I love the men in my life.

Any guesses on what Bent is going to dress as for Halloween?

2011-10-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

Saying goodbye.

2011-10-29T11:36:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, we said goodbye to our Mamaw Huff. I say "our" Mamaw because even though she is really John's grandmother, it was clear from day one of meeting me that she would be mine as well. It was certainly time for her to go, as she was no longer really in this world. In the last few years, she lost her memory little by little, and the last few months, she lost everything else. When life ceases to be nothing, it is time to go. My children learned that lesson first hand with their great grandmother. Death isn't nearly so scary to them anymore. Sad? of course. Scary? Not so much.

She was an amazing woman. One of the pastors spoke of her at the funeral and compared her life to the life of the Proverbs 31 woman. I am not sure I have ever heard a more beautiful, accurate comparison. She was a jewel. She grew up in the depression and kept cash stuffed in all sorts of places. She was resourceful--she is the first person I knew to wash aluminum foil and plastic bags. She kept everything and reused as much as she could. She saved money instead of spending it. Her house was always open for guests. As a matter of fact, you knew she was home because she would open her front door and just leave the storm door locked. Unless it was freezing, that front door was open when she was home. My children loved to watch cars go by standing at that door. Mamaw kept her yard BEAUTIFUL, and for that I am so thankful, because she passed that on to my husband. When I married John, the only thing I had ever kept alive was a small ivy plant. My yard is completely full of flowers and plants because of Mamaw's love for those things. The lilies I moved from her yard to mine a few seasons ago will be all the more special this June when they bloom.

One of the things the pastor said was that she never spoke ill of anyone. And although I am sure she probably did to her closest confidants, I am not sure I ever heard her say anything ugly about anyone. She just kept going. She served others without thinking about it. I remember her chest freezer being stocked with frozen cake layers because "you just don't know when someone might need a cake." She was a forward thinker.

She loved my children, and she was so proud of them. When they were small, she kept toys for them to play with AND she absolutely did not care how badly they scattered those toys. She hung a swing in the garage for the little ones. She read to them, sang with them, colored with them, cooked with them, and just shared life with them. They may be small, but they remember that. When you are desperately loved, you know it. My children knew it, and they loved her back.

And Mamaw loved me. When Maggie was a baby and I stopped working, I found myself quite lonely. I lived way out in Paulding County with no one nearby. Often I would pack Maggie and myself up for the day and go hang out at Mamaw's house. We would do her grocery shopping or just visit her sisters. We would watch Maggie (and Bentley later) play in the yard. I would help her with her flowers. She would tell me stories--stories her family had probably grown tired of by now, but they were rich treasures to me. I loved learning who was related to who and the history of her life. She had a beautiful, rich history. She taught me to cook in those years, and she gave me confidence as I ventured into parenting. She loved me as if I were her very own.

She will definitely be missed, but I am so thankful for the legacy she left all of us.

My Owl Addiction

2011-10-26T18:14:00.000-04:00

Apparently, my owl addiction started young. In flipping through pictures for our dear Mamaw's funeral visitation, I came across this beauty of myself. Check out my owl! So seventies and so cute!

And they ask...

2011-10-25T23:28:00.001-04:00

So I have been asked several questions over and over and over again about the tattoo, some obnoxious of course, and some general interest. In an effort to keep it real, I'll answer them (again) here.

1. Do I know it is permanent? Yes, I do. It took me thirty-five years to decide to do it. I have had a lot of time to think and consider it. I am okay with it being there when I am old.

2. How does John feel about it? At first, A YEAR AGO when I started tossing out the idea, he wasn't overly excited about it. He has never been against it, though. When he saw how much I wanted to do this and he saw that my excitement didn't wane over time, he stood behind me 100%. He even went with me when I got it. And his first words after it was finished? "I really like it."

3. What about that verse in the Bible--the one about tattoos being wrong? I'll answer this one, but I will also say, that if this is really what bothers you about tattoos, then you have some issues with your own idols. There is a verse in Leviticus that directly says not to tattoo your body. But it also says do not trim your beard or eat meat drained of blood. Why would it say this? Because at the time, culturally, these things were associated with pagan beliefs. I am going to step out on a limb here and say that isn't necessarily the case anymore. A tattoo is no longer a sign of unbelief. Our culture has changed. A tattoo will only mark a believer as a pagan in the eyes of a judgmental believer. I answered these questions for myself:

How does my heart and my conscience convict me? Do I have freedom in Christ and a clear conscience before the Lord regarding the decision to get a tattoo?

Am I passing judgment on a brother or sister because I don't have freedom in Christ to receive a tattoo?

Will I still want this tattoo years from now?

Will my parents and family approve, and/or will my future spouse want me to have this tattoo?

Is my decision based on faith and will the result be glorifying to God?

4. What does it say? It is in Greek. My life verse is John 8:32, and my favorite chapter in the whole Bible is John 8. There is just so much there that means so much to me. My verse says, "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." I have found this freedom in the last few years, and it is ULTRA important to me. That is what my tattoo says: free. I tend to let the world define me. Now I have a permanent reminder on my foot that NOTHING ELSE defines me. Not my past, not my future, not my husband, not my church, not my friends, not my children (which is a shame because THEY ARE STELLAR), not anything else. I am free. I want that to define me. That is the mark of Christ in my life.

5. What do your children think? Maggie says when she is 35, she might get a tattoo. I'm okay with that. Ellie thinks it feels bumpy, and Bentley says he can't read it. They are all together un-phased by it because it just isn't that big of a deal to them. We are way more interested in issues of the heart than we are in legalistic behavior. They know my heart.

6. Did it hurt? Initially, yes. It lasted thirty minutes or so, and on a pain scale of 1-10, I would put it at a 7. Childbirth was way worse, and I am thinking my mowing over a yellow jacket nest last summer was ultimately worse as well. It has not hurt a single bit since she finished doing it. It hasn't bled, barely "oozed," and barely itched. I am keeping it clean and keeping lotion on it, and life is going on as normal.

7. Do I like it? Of course. It is quite beautiful, and I needed something quite beautiful. It is perfect for me.

Red Top

2011-10-25T16:14:00.004-04:00

We took the kiddos for a picnic and a hike today at Red Top. GORGEOUS day for a hike!

"F"

2011-10-25T00:40:00.003-04:00

So, I have finally started the valiant attempt to teach Ellie her letters and sounds, although I am rather positive she probably already knows more than she lets on to me. I haven't really worried too much about her stubborn unwillingness to learn--for Bentley was the very same! Bentley did very little school until he was kindergarten age, and he is unbelievably great at both reading and math (and everything else, too!).

Today, we started with the letter "f." I am using the Get Ready for the Code series, and "f" is first. ELLIE LOVED IT. We wrote the lowercase and capital "f," we colored fish, and we sounded out "f" words. She even wore an "f" sticker to dance so she could tell her teacher what she learned today.

My favorite part of the day was when Maggie thought she would review Ellie. So funny!

Maggie: "Ellie, name a word that starts with F."

Ellie: "FISH!"

Mags: "Name another word that starts with F."

Ellie: "FISHING!"

Maggie: "Can you think of another word?"

Ellie: "FISHING POLE!"

At that point, no one could stop laughing. She may not know her letters, but her personality is definitely blooming.

Oh My.

2011-10-22T13:47:00.003-04:00

I've been making my own laundry detergent almost two years now. I've spent about $30 on supplies in the last 18 months, and mostly that has been on oxyclean for all the stinky running clothes that filter through our laundry.

I found this today: Homemade Oxyclean

Once again, thank you pinterest. I will be saving even more money now!!

Check that one off the bucket list.

2011-10-21T23:49:00.000-04:00

So not to forget.

2011-10-10T01:00:00.001-04:00

We have gone to the same pumpkin patch for many years. They have the same hay ride, with the scenery a little varied, each year. It always begins with, "Would you like to take the smooth road or the bumpy road?"

Today, as the kiddos settled in for the hay ride, Maggie looked over and said, "Mom, it has taken me a lot of years, but I finally realized that the smooth road and the bumpy road are the same."

Why is it she is so grown up? It made the bumpy road just that much sweeter this year.

Pumpkins, with friends!

2011-10-09T21:17:00.000-04:00

2011-10-09T21:05:00.003-04:00

I love autumn!

Friday Night Lights

2011-10-07T23:36:00.001-04:00

John taught at one school for many, many years. Then he transferred and began working closer to home. Tonight, for homecoming, the two schools played each other. So very, very weird to be wearing orange and pulling for the Warriors when for SO LONG we wore navy and pulled for the Falcons. The girls LOVED the game, though, and Ellie was overly impressed with the amount of purple dresses on the homecoming court. My big kiddos enjoyed saying hello to people and watching a swim coach on the cheerleading squad. All three kiddos were impressed when a cross country runner, one that they know and adore, won homecoming queen. And the weather? Absolutely perfect.

Watch out fall! She's ready!

2011-10-04T22:52:00.001-04:00

Photo Challenge Day 21

2011-10-01T07:57:00.000-04:00

Day 21 - A picture of a time when you had fun

This is at Sips N' Strokes a little over a year ago. This picture is of my friend Aileen and me. I love her dearly!

Girls night out + painting = loads of fun!

Photo Challenge Day 20

2011-09-30T02:50:00.000-04:00

Day 20 - A picture of you wearing your favorite color:

Here I am in two different shades of blue--my favorite color! Ellie argues with me a lot over my favorite color being blue...she insists that blue is a boy color, and since I'm a girl, I just CANNOT choose blue. She will even add pink and purple to my answer if she overhears me even mention blue as a favorite. She's a funny girl!

2011-09-30T02:19:00.000-04:00

My kiddos like to have a DVD to "watch" with their beach pictures every year...they have been asking me about it since the day we left the beach. Enjoy--I know they will!

Autumn Arrived

2011-09-27T16:07:00.002-04:00

Autumn arrived while we were at the beach, so we will have to play catch up on all the fun fall activities and foods! Today, Ellie had her besties over for the afternoon, so we made acorns for snack. They had so much fun, and word on the street is these acorns are YUMMY.

And this picture is just too adorable to leave out:

Photo Challenge Day 19

2011-09-26T09:41:00.001-04:00

Day 19 - A picture of you doing something you enjoy

Coloring. I am like a school kid when it comes to school supplies. Creating something beautiful is always enjoyable...and nothing makes my heart happier than a brand new box of crayons or markers.

Photo Challenge Day 18

2011-09-25T23:06:00.000-04:00

Day 18 - A picture of someone who is a new friend

Sorry for the horrible picture of me, but this is my newest friend that I.LOVE.DEARLY. This is Becky. I did not know her very well at all until last March. She is awesome. She functions on the "real" level that I enjoy immensely. About a month ago, John had tickets to a Nascar race, and we took Becky and her husband, Phil. My expectations were low--I am not a fan of Nascar or being out all day in the rain--but I really did have such a good time. Becky and I spent the whole day people watching, cracking jokes, and laughing. I am so glad she's around to stay for awhile!

A Sanderling.

2011-09-25T19:14:00.000-04:00

This is a small bird that finds himself on the Carolina coast in the fall. I am sure I have probably seen one before, but it has been a LONG time since I have been on the beach in September. He and his feathered friends darted in and out of the waves and provided a lot of entertainment for me this past week while I was at the beach.

I needed this week. I had a lot to process and think through, and I needed the time to sit and just be. I did just that. My kiddos ran in and out of the water, built entire sand villages, and played between the jetties. I watched. I counted to four a lot (Mags took a friend). I contemplated many, many things. And I watched these cute little birds who were new to me this year.

One of my very best friends is leaving our church. I have known it in the depths of my heart for a long time, and the reality of it all for a few weeks. And when I say one of my very best friends what I really mean is my friend, and my daughter's best friend at church, and my son's best friend, and my other daughter's best friend. Oh, and our children and youth pastor. It's all wrapped up in one family that is very dear to our souls.

I have seen it coming for a long time now. We have walked with our friends for the past few years. I have prayed with them and for them and begged God to please.just.leave.them.here. I have cried many tears throughout the last two years, but I am positive that these last two weeks have been the hardest. Mostly because God has called them elsewhere, and despite my selfishness, I know it is a great plan for them. I still hurt from the thought of loss (for myself, for my children, for my church), but it is outweighed greatly by the joy I have for my friends. It is such an odd place to find myself.

My friend told me a few weeks ago. I had a chance to really process it this week. I was able to finally tell my children. They are completely okay. Sad, but okay. We are learning what it is like to listen for God's directions and to follow them, and we are learning as a family. It isn't such a horrible thing. We are thanking God for his great plans that must be so much better than ours because these certainly aren't our plans. We are growing in God's grace and love. It isn't easy, but it must be worth it. It just has to be.

And God ALWAYS takes care of the smallest details. I begged of God for many, many seasons...please don't make them move. I knew that he would never be able to fully use his gifts and talents at our church, and I knew that would mean a new church home for this family. And I begged that God would provide that somewhere close by so that we wouldn't lose our friends in this season of our lives. I am just not sure how much more I can handle, and for once, I am confident that God heard me, just as a father hears the heart-felt pleas and cries of a small child. He gave him a job, in this horrible economy, where he can use his gifts AND doesn't have to move his family. We are losing them at church, but not in our lives. I am confident that this is God saying to me, "My daughter, I really do love you. I know you are fearful because everyone always leaves. I am not going to take them far. I told you I will give you what you need, and for now, I know you need this."

And these cute little birds that played at my feet all week? John tells me that they are sanderlings. They nest in the tundra and find themselves along the east coast during the fall months as a part of their migration patterns. Had I been at the beach at any other time, I might not have been entertained by them as I processed all my thoughts. And the street that my friends live on and get to stay living on? Sanderlings. His plan pays attention to all the details.

Up close.

2011-09-20T09:22:00.001-04:00

Tonight we took the kiddos to the south end of the island when the tide was out. It is the point where the river meets the sea, and the dolphins were in abundance. They were maybe about 25-30 feet away when they were at their closest. Maggie kept inching out deeper and deeper, and I truly think she would have went swimming with them if we had given her permission. The dolphins were playing with each other and putting on quite a show for us!

Leaping.

2011-09-18T22:51:00.000-04:00

Photo Challenge Day 17

2011-09-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life

There are so many obvious things I could have grabbed a picture of for this challenge, but I decided to try and think of something less obvious. I mentioned it to John, and he said this:

I believe he's probably right. This is what my dad passed down to me. My dad read this aloud to me when I was a wee little one, and then read it aloud to us again several more times in our growing up years, long before it was hip to read to your children every night. It was VERY important to him that we understand the treasures and life lessons of Atticus, Jem, and Scout. My mom and dad both started out in a segregated south and saw integration first hand in their schooling years. Their stories were fascinating to us. And my dad had lived in Puerto Rico in the fifties and experienced the equally shocking third-world poverties of Vietnam in his late teen years. They really wanted us to see beyond our small little portion of the world.

Of course, I learned so much more than just the issues of the segregated south. I learned to listen to a chapter book. I learned to treasure the written word. I learned to love books and to treasure reading. My dad gifted those things to me--starting with the tale of a little girl named Scout. I have read this particular book so many times now that I often find the words running through my head as if it were a song!

Thanks to Pinterest...

2011-09-14T21:10:00.002-04:00

I saw this really cute Market Skirt tutorial...and I thought, hey, I could make those pockets look like owls. And Ellie LOVES googly eyes on her stuff. And I had already picked up some very, very cute owl fabric! So here is our version of the Market Skirt.

First Company III Appearance

2011-09-13T17:07:00.000-04:00

Taste of Kennesaw 2011

Mags and Ava moved up a company level this year--so they are now Company III. They performed last Saturday and did a fabulous job. I love these girlies so much!

PreShow Photo Op

So flexible!

So, so very pretty in my very biased opinion!

Photo Challenge Day 16

2011-09-13T01:09:00.000-04:00

Day 16 – A picture of somewhere you would love to travel

I have always wanted to go here...ever since I was about twelve years old. It is a real place that is quite picturesque. I want to walk on the shore, to run in the fields, and see all the things that a particular literary character saw throughout the seasons of her life. I will post a picture or two, and leave the field open for a few guesses. I'll update after a few days if no one has guessed it correctly. This is where I want to travel:

Photo Challenge Day 15

2011-09-12T23:52:00.000-04:00

Day 15 - A picture of someone you miss

I am totally going to forgo the picture in this post--I just don't think it would be appropriate. But I will tell you all about someone I miss.

I had a very dear, soul-mate kind a friend a few years ago. I loved her dearly, and I still do. I imagined our families growing old together. We might still; I believe that most things can be redeemed, but this redeeming would probably need to involve the moving of mountains.

So why do I miss her? We aren't friends anymore. I have learned over the past few years that when things are tough, I do one of two things. I run or I withdraw. It is still my natural tendency. Things were tough, I was barely hanging on, and I withdrew. I was completely overwhelmed with life. I basically withdrew from everyone who would let me. I didn't do it intentionally; I did it one small decision at a time. I made myself too busy, too tired, and ultimately too isolated to really deal with much at all. It was easier that way, and it hurt less that way. I put up walls as fast as I could and kept out as many people as I could. I couldn't keep up with laundry, or meals, or anything other than my children. I gave my children everything I had because it was all I had, and I was determined to do at least one thing correctly. Steve Brown has referred to this season as "a dark night of the soul," and if you have ever been there, you know exactly where I was. It wasn't a good place at all.

I shut her out one time too many. I could be the best friend ever at this point, and I don't think she would care. I understand her position.

The loss of this particular friendship was devastating to me and my children, but in the same sense, it has been such a great reminder of God's grace and his good gifts. In seasons of loss, He always gives back. I understand true forgiveness in ways I could have never understood it before. God gave me friends who recognize the state of my soul even when I don't and fight me tooth and nail when I begin retreat.

But even with that, I still miss her. I will do something that I know she would laugh at, or I go somewhere I know she would enjoy, or I say something I know I picked up from her. And the sense of loss still stings.

I think Dorky would have been a better choice.

2011-09-12T01:17:00.000-04:00

Last year at Christmas time, John and I attended a dinner for the officers in our church. It was a particularly rough evening on a multitude of levels. We had friends who were hurting pretty badly. It was a large-ish gathering, which I don't do well, and it was at the tail end of a very long weekend. So needless to say, I was not at my best, not even close.

The staff thought it would be fun to make the guys t-shirts that read "Deacon of the Month" on the front and a funny nickname on the back. It was funny. They introduced the deacon, told a few little funny quips, and read the nickname on the back. There was a lot of laughter, and if you knew this group of men, you would have totally laughed, too. Handy. Brainy. Grouchy. It was great fun...until they got to John. The nickname on the back of his shirt was "Sleepy." The room was filled with laughter, and his sleepiness is funny...for everyone but me. All I could do was smile and pretend to laugh. It probably lasted just seconds, but for me, it could have been an eternity. There are so many other funny adjectives I could use to describe John, but I think the reality hit me hard that night. It is his narcolepsy that defines him among his peers. That's never an easy pill to swallow.

And the thing is, I hate narcolepsy. For me, it is a husband-stealer. Sure, it is funny that John can and does randomly fall asleep. We really do laugh about it sometimes. But for us, it means that there really isn't any point in paying to go see a movie, and there really isn't any point in sitting down in the evening to watch television. We can't discuss anything after a certain time in the evening. Naps and downtime are necessary. John LOVES college football, but he can't even stay awake watching those games most days. It means that I worry when he's out late at night, and I always drive if it is dark. It means conversations are meant to be had multiple times, and I feel an extreme pressure to remember everything. He can't. His brain doesn't get enough of the right type of rest, and so it makes up for it during the day. He's tried medicine, several different medicines, and we've yet to find the right one. They are either way too expensive to try, or they have horrible side effects. He has spent the last year off of medicine completely. It has been a long year.

I will admit that it isn't the worst thing in the world. He's still here. We've had years to learn to live with it. We've adjusted our lives, and our children have grown to understand it. But it doesn't mean I like it, and it sure doesn't mean I handle it well. I often feel like the most boring wife in the world. But I know that isn't the truth. The truth is that God planned for John to develop narcolepsy in his mid-twenties. He planned for us to walk this journey together, and regardless how it seems, it is a perfect plan.

While I am Busy Being Real...

2011-09-10T01:19:00.000-04:00

I have several posts sitting in the loading dock for the next few weeks--posts that I have written over the last ~~few months~~ year but that have never quite made it to the blog. I couldn't bear to delete them the other night, and I thought why not? I have placed them in the queue to be published over the next few weeks. So, just as a heads up, be prepared for some "real."

Adorableness.

2011-09-09T12:20:00.001-04:00

I came across this picture while cleaning up all the picture files on my computer. This was my Ellison Ryan, almost exactly four years ago. I miss this stage tremendously today.

The Post That Demands To Be Written

2011-09-08T19:11:00.000-04:00

I have stared at this post many, many times. It has remained in the dashboard, an unfinished piece of work, until now. I am still not sure that the timing is right, but regardless, it is here. I had a conversation this week with a dear friend who had only seen a glimpse of this pitcher, and I shared of its significance. It is significant.

This came in a box of broken pieces. A bunch of broken pieces. The directions were simple. Put it back together, and as you do, make observations about it. I had a handful of very dear friends, friends that know just how broken I am, come over armed with a wide variety of glues and adhesives. We had no idea what the evening would hold or what exactly we were building, but they came over and we started the process. We dumped the pieces out, and we began.

I learned a lot about brokenness and healing in those few hours with my friends. Broken things never go back together exactly the same way. The edges are sharp. The cracks are uneven. Little, tiny, itty bitty pieces are chipped off and gone forever. Sometimes, just when you think you've made progress, the whole thing falls apart. It takes time for glue to dry, and it takes time for wounds to heal. Sometimes you can't hold the pieces together by yourself. It takes more than just you. It takes trust. A friend may be able to look at the same pile of pieces you look at and see something different. A friend just may hold it together for you when you can't. Sometimes, you have to ask yourself, "Is this working out for me?" If it isn't, you may just have to try something new. You have to fix it piece by piece, and one area has to dry before you can move on and fix more. It isn't easy. Fingers get stuck together. It takes commitment. It's quite messy. The finished product is never the same as it started out, no matter how well you perform the task. You can still see the scars. The broken vessel is still a useful vessel. We talked it all through, we laughed until we cried, and at some points, some of us just cried. We put together a pitcher.

When we first finished, I was so frustrated. We worked so stinking hard, and I thought it was just an ugly pitcher. The glue didn't work as I thought it should have, so we used packaging tape for some of it. I felt like I had failed at even this. I put it away in my bedroom and vowed not to look at it for a long time. But as I journaled through our observations, I realized just how beautiful this pitcher is. Sure, the cracks are still visible. There is still packaging tape on the inside. It still cannot hold water. But it is useful. And what it represents is of the very most value.

It represents healing. The effort and the time to sort the pieces and put them in the proper places is worth every second and every tear. My life may never look the same as it did before and it may not function as it did before, but I have a sneaky suspicion that God designed this brokenness for me for that very reason.

My brokenness poured out over the last few years. An empty vessel of self, reaching and grabbing in panic for some sort of security. Imagine me, with my sturdy pretend walls built up high so that no one would know the turmoil inside, actually letting these women in and baring my soul. Admitting my sin and my selfishness and breaking down walls? And finding out I'm not the only one who fights hard battles? Learning to raise my hand and say "I need help" or "I need a friend" or even "I can't do this by myself." Allowing my heart to truly love other people who might just go away. To be vulnerable with people who may not even care about me tomorrow. It is hard, but it is as Christ did, and it is what we are called to do. And in doing so, I've found myself surrounded by a few dear souls who gently nudge me in the right direction, who listen to me scream as the trains go by, who glue their fingers together for me so that I can see what true community looks like and feels like once again. It had been so long.

So the pitcher sits on my mantle, and I am constantly reminded of where I have been and where I am going. I see it now, and I see the value in the scars. The truth is a little more clear each and every day. For now, when I catch myself believing lies, I write the lies down and put them in the pitcher. You know, the ones that haunt me. I am not worth it. Everyone leaves. I am not good enough to be loved. I am not a useful engine. They live there in my pitcher. One day, my pitcher will be full of the truths I have come to treasure and guard closely. One day, the truths will outweigh the lies. One day, the pitcher will be as beautiful on the inside as it is on the outside.

So much.

2011-09-08T11:05:00.003-04:00

We are in deep in our homeschooling now. We've been working for four weeks, and this is what we've learned so far:

The history of Anatomy
Cell function and parts
The Skeletal System
Negative numbers! and big girl math for Mags
Addition, Subtraction, word problems, and patterns for Bent
Subject Nouns/Verbs
Revising/Editing paragraphs
Vocabulary words with Wordly Wise AND Shurley
Phonics for Bent (and review for Mags!)
Spelling Power for all
Mags has read two novels
Bent has read four novels
Geography for both
Critical Thinking patterns so far for Mag
Both are memorizing passages from the Bible

AND

Ellie can now write her last name!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We start history on Monday! I am so glad I held back and introduced it bit by bit this year. We have found a groove in which we finish mostly by lunch, so adding history now won't be nearly so overwhelming!

Exactly.

2011-09-07T23:09:00.000-04:00

"Making disciples is not an easy process. It is trying. It is messy. It is slow, tedious, even painful at times. It is all these things because it is relational. Jesus has not given us an effortless step-by-step formula for impacting nations for his glory. He has given us people, and he has said, "Live for them. Love them, serve them, and lead them. Lead them to follow me, and lead them to lead others to follow me. In the process you will multiply the gospel to the ends of the earth."

From Radical, by David Platt

Photo Challenge Day 14

2011-09-05T21:40:00.001-04:00

Day 14 – A picture of something on your “to do list”

It is time for some fall sewing!

she's a wise one.

2011-09-01T19:33:00.004-04:00

Today, the clouds were thick and the sun was minimal. The children really, really wanted to go swimming, but I reminded them that on days like this, with no sun to warm us up, the water is usually chilly and the swimmer is even more chilly. They decided it wasn't worth the effort. Later, at lunch, Maggie commented, "Mom, isn't it neat how God makes the water cool off when summer ends so that we won't really miss swimming so much?

And then, a few hours later when we were out picking up our fruits and veggies, Maggie and Bentley were in a heated discussion over what might happen if you hold your breath too long. I explained that a person would faint, and the body would kick in and start breathing on its own. Mags, overly excited, follows up with, "Wow! So God designed our bodies to just do that? That is incredible!"

Because it all can't be fun and games...

2011-08-31T23:43:00.002-04:00

"In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others."
— C.S. Lewis

I realized tonight, in the span of just a few minutes, the validity of this statement. God chooses who will walk into the depths with us, and he chooses who we will venture on that journey with as well. It is rarely easy, it hurts, and it almost always involves change. And change is hard. But it is by God's grace that we find each other along the way, and it is always, always, always worth it. I just may need someone to remind me of this later.

Cell Anatomy

2011-08-31T15:13:00.002-04:00

I am a HUGE fan of the science books we use. I love taking one main topic a year and digging DEEP into it! This year, we are studying Human Anatomy. It has been fun for all involved. We just finished learning all about cells (yes, that "we" includes me!), and our project at the end of the lesson involved making a cell model...out of jello! The kiddos had an absolute blast, and they know a good bit more about cells than I could ever imagine.

Art Show

2011-08-31T11:28:00.003-04:00

Our AWESOME art teacher had a little art show for us today, and she did a fabulous job displaying the art that the kiddos have produced over the last few years.

Ellie is super-excited about taking art this year!

Watercolor Shadow Boxes

Bentley's Self Portraits through the years

Maggie's artwork

Mag's grid drawing from last year:

Top Ten List, Grandma Edition

2011-08-29T22:41:00.002-04:00

Today is my mom's birthday AND the day my grandmother passed away six years ago. Such a strange mix of emotions that time really does even out after a little while. This picture is from 2001, shortly after my Maggie was born. My grandmother had a heart attack that summer, and she spent a lot of time in the hospital. On her birthday (which was the 15th of August), I just had to sneak Maggie up to see her. Such a grand memory for me, such a great picture for Maggie to keep forever. So in honor of the legacy she left me, here is my Top Ten List; Grandma Edition:

Top Ten Facts about my Grandma

She was a little bitty woman. 5'2" exactly. I spent my whole childhood waiting to hit her height. By fourth grade, we could share shoes. By sixth grade, I was her height, and by seventh grade, I was taller. If you know my mom and how tall she is, it is hard to imagine my little bitty grandma.
When she cooked, she cooked for an army. She raised six children of her own, and by the time we came along, she didn't know how to cook for a small group of people. Every meal she planned could have fed twelve people. We ate lots of leftovers. She was an unbelievably good cook.
Her work ethic was strong. She worked hard for what little she had. She wasn't one to complain and wait for something to be handed to her. If she needed something, you probably didn't realize it. Some of it was complete and utter pride, but mostly it was personal responsibility.
She was FUNNY. She made me laugh almost every day of my childhood, and yes, I saw her most every day. She lived outside the box. Most pictures I have of her are completely silly...you know, making faces, wearing strange hats, posing silly. She was good at rallying the troops through laughter and fun.
Her bed was tall, long before pillow-top mattresses and such. My brother and I LOVED that bed. For many years, it was a playground of sorts. It was a fishing boat the day my brother pulled my arm out-of-socket; he was the fisherman and I was the fish. It was where we piled up after the unwrapping of Christmas gifts and played for hours. The brass foot board was my jungle gym and where I learned to cherry drop. It is still hard for me to imagine her bedroom without that bed!
She could not swim and was deathly afraid of water. Yet every year, she ventured to the coast with us. She spent hours on the sand and every once in a while found herself on an inner tube in the surf. On the rainy days, we would ALWAYS put together a jigsaw puzzle. I learned to play Rummy and Solitaire by spending time with her and my granddaddy.
Her yard was my favorite playground. She had a swing. At one point, she had a slide. She always had laundry hanging that we could run through, and she never yelled at us for doing just that! At one point there was even a tin can putting course back there. Her yard backed up to three other grandmothers' yards, and on weekends and holidays, we were assured a handful of steady playmates. Those were definitely some good times.
She was fanatic about the National Enquirer and Pro Wrestling (?). No matter how bizarre, she would not be convinced that it was made up junk. She really believed that stuff. I think had she lived to see the recent dying off of wrestlers, she would have been heartbroken.
She always made me feel special when she told the story of how she broke her arm. I was a baby, and she had me in the tub bathing me. A storm blew up, and all she could think about was the laundry hanging out on the line, and how I needed some dry diapers and clothes. She ran to grab some things off the line and fell down the back steps. Her arm was broken, but all she could think about was getting back to me. Nothing, and I mean nothing, helps a person feel loved more than a story like that. And she told it often enough that I actually believed I was that important to her. I was.
She was strong as steel. When her world fell apart, she bucked up and made the best of it. When my world fell apart so many years later, she taught me how to buck up and make the most of it. I really did love her so, so much...enough to name my Maggie after her.

Seabird

2011-08-29T11:58:00.002-04:00

Maggie finished reading Seabird last Friday. I read it first, as I do most of their books, and while it was definitely good learning material, I thought it was rather boring. She LOVED it. From her summary: "It is a neat story of a bird carving that follows a family throughout several generations. The ivory gull played a part in each man's way of life, and it changed slightly for each person as the world around him changed. I really liked how the story starts and ends with the ivory gull."

I think I need to go back and give it a second chance.

Not to be outdone...

2011-08-27T23:07:00.001-04:00

...Bent decided that he must learn to back dive like Maggie. He was so proud of himself!

Photo Challenge Day 13

2011-08-27T14:27:00.000-04:00

Day 13: A Picture of Someone You Wish You Could See More Often

This is Mamaw Huff. She doesn't really know me anymore, but there was a season of my life in which she was the closest family I had other than John. I just love her so. She taught me so many things in the early years of my marriage: how to cook, how to clean, a million and one home remedies, etc. All the things I never really learned how to do before. She also taught me one of the greatest life lessons of all. She taught me to love John and love him fiercely. To serve him and to build him up. I have never once heard Mamaw say one negative thing about her husband--a man I never had the privilege of knowing, but whose memory lived on for a long time.

I wish it didn't require so much to go visit her. She reminds me so much of the last few years with my own grandmother. Her memory is short and her mood is feisty. She makes up CRAZY stories, probably a mix of the past and present getting tangled up in her mind. I still appreciate her regardless. And I wish I could see her more. I wish Ellie could know her the way Maggie and Bentley do.

Running Season

2011-08-27T12:02:00.002-04:00

While Bentley curled up on the tarp under a blanket,

Maggie proudly (and I mean PROUDLY!) wore her bright orange cross country uniform:

And Ellie entertained us as we waited:

To see our baby race by in her very first ever middle school XC meet:

She loved every minute of it!

Photo Challenge Day 12

2011-08-26T13:52:00.000-04:00

Day 12 - A picture of someone with whom you share a resemblance

See the front two? They resemble me. See the one in the back? She is her daddy. :)

First Day of Dance

2011-08-23T19:48:00.003-04:00

Watch out world! This kiddo is going to take tap this year!

First day of ballet technique for the big girls:

Learning from the best.

2011-08-18T08:05:00.002-04:00

I just LOVE this picture and the intensity on Claire's face as she watches Ellie. Watch out world!

HPA's Opening Day

2011-08-15T23:00:00.003-04:00

We started school today. I regret it. Enough said.

All three lovelies:

Her Superlative? Class Clown

Maggie, Fifth Grade:

Bentley, Second Grade:

Photo Challenge Day 11

2011-08-15T22:51:00.004-04:00

Day 11 – A picture of someone you would like to trade places with for a day

I have had a tough time deciding what person I would like to trade places with...and the truth be told, I don't think I really would like to trade with anyone. BUT when forced to choose, I choose my newest niece, Libby. Seriously. She has the life. Someone meeting her EVERY.SINGLE.NEED, and she gets to sleep whenever she wants. That's tops in my book.

He mocks me.

2011-08-01T21:30:00.002-04:00

Actually, he mocks my phone...my text arrival beep to be exact. It is hard to see, but there is a little bird resting on my mailbox. He is a mockingbird, and I am quite fond of this one in particular. He has been here all summer, making his home in one of our trees. Frequently, he makes a beep, beep, beep noise that sounds just like my phone. I pick up my phone to look, and there are no new texts. He seriously mocks me, and because of that, I am indeed fond of him. I will be sad when autumn arrives and he flies away.

Things will be great when you're downtown...

2011-08-01T20:28:00.005-04:00

Have I ever mentioned how much I love where we live? We are close enough to the big city to enjoy all that Atlanta has to offer, yet we live *just* far enough away to still have a small bit of little town charm. For a while now, I have wanted to take pictures in our downtown, and John FINALLY gave in this summer. After two separate trips on Sunday evenings (when Henry's is closed and downtown is slow-moving), I am satisfied. So here we are:

Maggie, age 10

Bentley, age 7 1/2

Ellie, age 4

Ellie and Claire...

2011-07-28T18:04:00.001-04:00

...I am sure that these two will have many, many photo opportunities throughout the years.

Yes, I know.

2011-07-27T00:25:00.001-04:00

Bentley tonight, as he begins reading the final chapter of The Wizard of Oz: "Mom, have you ever read this The Wizard of Oz?" (the novel)

Me: "Yes, why?"

Bent: "Because I read the kid's book we had, and this one is different. It's really sad."

Love them so, so much.

2011-07-24T23:11:00.000-04:00

Photo Challenge Day 10

2011-07-15T10:11:00.002-04:00

Day 10 – A picture of your day/night

I have been stuck on this one, simply because I have yet to take a picture of what morning looks like in our house. It is summer now, and mornings are *slightly* chaotic. They may or may not include:

Bowls of cereal
Maggie tucked away reading a book
A cartoon or two (usually Tom & Jerry)
Swimsuits and sunscreen
Coloring sheets and crayons
John out running
Dishwasher running

Our nights have included:

Camping out on the back deck
Sleepovers with dear friends
Night swimming
Late night walks
Catching fireflies
Camping out in the bonus room

Sorry, but there are no pictures...I need to work on that! :)

Closing Out Summer Swim Season

2011-07-15T00:38:00.002-04:00

Kenna, Mags, Bent, and Sydney:

Mags and Bent with their awards:

Because sometimes you are the Most Improved Swimmer:

And because this is so stinking cute:

Ellie and Parker (future Piranhas, no doubt) enjoy a little iphone entertainment and a few giggles:

Coming to a billboard near you...

2011-07-08T15:40:00.003-04:00

...not really. But they are coming to a rolling ad at the local LA Fitness. Our dance studio is using the girls for some ads, and the pictures turned out great!

Photo Challenge Day 9

2011-07-01T23:28:00.006-04:00

Day 09 - A picture of a person who inspires you

We sat in a discipleship group together for a year and barely knew each other beyond the surface. I can't remember the day that changed or what caused the change, but she is probably one of the very best friends I have ever had. She has a husband in the ministry, four children, and a heart for loving people. She is very much like me in many ways, yet opposite in other ways. We have spent countless hours baring our souls, pulling away layers of junk, and finding ourselves in the process. She makes me laugh, and she makes me think. She makes me realize that I am normal, and she reminds me that I am valuable. She has a way of listening and asking questions that really brings everything to the heart level. She inspires me to be a better friend, a better wife, and a better mom... to respond and not react...and to enjoy life.

Photo Challenge Day 8

2011-06-30T20:16:00.003-04:00

Day 08 – A picture of the cast of your favorite show

I have already mentioned that I am not really a tv watcher. I watch American Idol, sometimes, because Maggie wants to watch it. I watch So You Think You Can Dance when I happen to remember that it is on. I do not have a DVR, so if I miss it, I miss it. But a favorite show? FRIENDS, for sure. I have several seasons on DVD, and what I don't have, another friend of mine does. I know almost every episode by heart, and often laugh to myself when something in real life plays out like something on the show.

Photo Challenge Day 7

2011-06-28T18:04:00.003-04:00

{Sorry, I took a break for a week of teaching VBS and our final week of summer swim league}

Day 07 - A picture of something you cherish

This child's spirit. It is quite dear to me. She IS NOT fearless, though at times it may seem so. She simply believes in herself. Until last week, she had never even jumped off a diving board (a boat house into the lake, yes...a diving board into a pool, no). This week? She's perfecting her back dive. She makes it look easy. I wasn't there, but I am certain that she was quite a bit fearful at first. Fear does not paralyze her as it does me. It pushes her to respond. Man, I cherish that!

Photo Challenge Day 6

2011-06-17T22:43:00.003-04:00

Day 06 - A picture of a person you consider a close friend

This is my friend Jennifer. We have only been close a few years, but at this point, she probably knows more about me than anyone...other than John. She makes me laugh until my sides hurt, and she makes me think until my brain hurts. She helped me regain my confidence when I lost it, and she constantly pushes me forward. Mostly she has held my hand and encouraged me--sometimes with a gentle reminder, sometimes with hard words, always with grace and steadfast love. Jennifer has reminded me why exactly I believe in investing in people...it is in the moments when we truly stand in the gap for each other that we experience heart change and life change. Her friendship has been a very healing balm for my weary soul.

Photo Challenge Day 5

2011-06-16T09:10:00.002-04:00

Day 05 A Photo that makes you laugh

Wow, I take a lot of pictures, and in every set, there is at least one that makes me laugh! So for today, I pick this one...Bentley, doing his best Harry Potter impression. What makes this picture even more funny is that it is not posed. I came down the stairs (this was when Bent was five) and saw Bentley sitting on the fireplace reading. I quickly grabbed the camera and caught the moment!

Photo Challenge Day 4

2011-06-14T21:44:00.003-04:00

Day 04 - A picture of a favorite memory

My birthday gets swallowed whole by the end of the school year, Ellie's birthday, and my anniversary. It is always around Memorial Day weekend, and no matter how hard people try, they are always too busy to celebrate. So this is, by far, one of my favorite memories. Some of my VERY FAVORITE, DEAREST, CLOSEST friends out to eat at my favorite restaurant last year for my birthday. It has only happened twice since I have been married, and only once since I have had Ellie...gathering to celebrate with my friends on my day. My favorite recent memory by far.